I wasn't online to vote at the end of March so I am very excited that this book was chosen because I really liked What Alice Forgot. I am excited to read this one.
I would give this book 3.5 starts. The character Tess keeping a secret from her husband at the end and the ingury to a little girl made it hard for me to give it 4 starts. But I do recommend everyone read this book if they have not done so.
The quote ate the beginning of the book is very fitting and is a big idea for the book. It is a quote by Alexander Pope:
"To err is human, to forgive, divine."
Some of the reader's guide questions were very thought provoking and so I thought I would type my responses to some of the questions.
1. When Cecilia finds the letter addressed to her from her husband, "To be opened only in the event of my death," she is tormented by the ethics of opening it. DO you agree with her ultimate decision? What would you have done? Yes!!!! She waited, she talked to her husband. He acted like it wasn't a big deal but then when she woke up in the middle of the night and he's in the attic trying to find it, you bet I would open it. What is he hiding that he should be telling you. There should not be secrets like this in a marriage.
2. Is secrecy in a marriage ever warranted or justifiable? No-I watched my aprents marriage and them constantly accusing the other of keeping things from each other and I was determined to not have this kind of marriage. I also think that if you believe your marriage is eternal you have a different perspective and know that this life is to work out the problems and kinks not to keep things secret so you have no time to work on issues together.
5. Grief is a major theme in this novel, . . . Do you think people can fully stop grieving and move on with their lives?
This is a tough one, I know that through Christ we can be healed and he can take away all our pain and sorrows. However, I have watched two sister-in-laws deal with the death of children. Their pain is raw and real. They both know they will see their sons in the next life, but until that happens I don't think they will ever truly be healed and whole. They move on because they have to, bit I don't think it will be right until after they die and are reunited.
9. Betrayal . . . When one person betrays another, can that person be forgiven? Or is the damage irreparable?
The Savior says we need to forgive all men, forgive 70x7. I have been deeply wronged before by close friends. This hurt badly. It makes it to where you don't want to show up to things where they might be attending, it makes it hard to think of the other person in a good light. Everything seems tainted by what they did to you. It is not easy to forgive someone when it affects your family or your children. That seems to be the unfrogiveable action. however if we cannot forgive them then we are not worthy to be in the presence of God. He will not forgive us unless we can forgive others. It can be a long process years even but I think this is a big part of why we re here on earth.
I hate the term forgive and forget. If you have truly forgiven someone it doesn't mean you will forget it. You will never, and I say it again, never forget. But If you are forgetting what they did to you then it means you are not going to bring it up to them or throw it in their face. It means you are not gossiping about it or talking to others about how they wronged you. it means you are moving past it and not making things difficult for others. It means you are trying to love them despite how they used you. You still learn from what happened and still remember but the memory changes to something that isn't as hurtful anymore.
I wasn't online to vote at the end of March so I am very excited that this book was chosen because I really liked What Alice Forgot. I am excited to read this one.
ReplyDeleteI would give this book 3.5 starts. The character Tess keeping a secret from her husband at the end and the ingury to a little girl made it hard for me to give it 4 starts. But I do recommend everyone read this book if they have not done so.
ReplyDeleteThe quote ate the beginning of the book is very fitting and is a big idea for the book. It is a quote by Alexander Pope:
"To err is human, to forgive, divine."
Some of the reader's guide questions were very thought provoking and so I thought I would type my responses to some of the questions.
1. When Cecilia finds the letter addressed to her from her husband, "To be opened only in the event of my death," she is tormented by the ethics of opening it. DO you agree with her ultimate decision? What would you have done?
Yes!!!! She waited, she talked to her husband. He acted like it wasn't a big deal but then when she woke up in the middle of the night and he's in the attic trying to find it, you bet I would open it. What is he hiding that he should be telling you. There should not be secrets like this in a marriage.
2. Is secrecy in a marriage ever warranted or justifiable?
No-I watched my aprents marriage and them constantly accusing the other of keeping things from each other and I was determined to not have this kind of marriage. I also think that if you believe your marriage is eternal you have a different perspective and know that this life is to work out the problems and kinks not to keep things secret so you have no time to work on issues together.
5. Grief is a major theme in this novel, . . . Do you think people can fully stop grieving and move on with their lives?
This is a tough one, I know that through Christ we can be healed and he can take away all our pain and sorrows. However, I have watched two sister-in-laws deal with the death of children. Their pain is raw and real. They both know they will see their sons in the next life, but until that happens I don't think they will ever truly be healed and whole. They move on because they have to, bit I don't think it will be right until after they die and are reunited.
9. Betrayal . . . When one person betrays another, can that person be forgiven? Or is the damage irreparable?
The Savior says we need to forgive all men, forgive 70x7. I have been deeply wronged before by close friends. This hurt badly. It makes it to where you don't want to show up to things where they might be attending, it makes it hard to think of the other person in a good light. Everything seems tainted by what they did to you. It is not easy to forgive someone when it affects your family or your children. That seems to be the unfrogiveable action. however if we cannot forgive them then we are not worthy to be in the presence of God. He will not forgive us unless we can forgive others. It can be a long process years even but I think this is a big part of why we re here on earth.
I hate the term forgive and forget. If you have truly forgiven someone it doesn't mean you will forget it. You will never, and I say it again, never forget. But If you are forgetting what they did to you then it means you are not going to bring it up to them or throw it in their face. It means you are not gossiping about it or talking to others about how they wronged you. it means you are moving past it and not making things difficult for others. It means you are trying to love them despite how they used you. You still learn from what happened and still remember but the memory changes to something that isn't as hurtful anymore.